Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Reflection

Cameron is 5 months old ..... Wow. Here is what I have typed up as the complete story:

Our Embryo Adoption Journey

It was in August of 2006 that Jason and I really realized we were -gasp- infertile. We had pretty much figured out that we were going to have difficulty in conceiving a child on our own, as we had already been trying for five years. (What a shock that is to realize as I write this story now.) We casually looked into adoption, and we were absolutely dumbfounded by the prices we encountered to adopt: $10,000 - $15,000 for Domestic and $20,000 - $25,000 for International. We began to accept that the medical interventions of the day may be needed and we made those first appointments. After several tests, it was determined that I had PCOS and Jason had low counts and motility. We were told to try an IUI. After two failed IUI's and more nights of tears and questions, we began to feel it just would never happen, no matter how hard we prayed, God's answer was no. We were devastated and sad. We held each other, we lifted one another up, we talked things over. We decided to trust God. We came to the conclusion that we were going to be OK if we didn't have a biological child - we just yearned for a child.

I began numerous searches on the internet pertaining to adoption. How to afford it, how to prepare for it, all that stuff. I didn't expect to find a site that would inevitably lead me right into Embryo Adoption. The site is Stepping Stones, and it is an outreach ministry of Bethany Christian Services. The members were welcoming and encouraging, and a number of them were currently in the midst of their own Embryo Adoption Journey. It was amazing to read their stories, plus the stories of those adopting domestically and internationally. It was on August 8, 2006 that I posted the following to the Stepping Stones message board:

“I, actually we, are ready to stop TTC. I don't want to go through any of it any more. I want romance to be because we love each other. I want to move on, and I feel at such peace about it. God has shown me His plan. If we are going to conceive, it will be because God wants us to, not because we used medicine or other painful (to me) procedures. I am not putting anyone down, I just feel at peace as it relates to Jason and I. We are all ready to begin the adoption process from either Russia or the Ukraine, depending on program changes. I've just returned home form a week of being a camp counselor for fourth grade campers at my church camp. I had 6 girls in my room this year, and THREE of them were adopted. One was domestic, adopted as an infant, one was adopted from China, and one from foster care. HELLOOOOOOO!!! Eye opener! Ask for a sign and be ready for Him to show it to you! So we are ready, please pray for us, we still have an emotional journey ahead of us, but with God, we will get through it!”

So God had “shown” me that adopting is OK, just after we had begun to come to and accept that conclusion for ourselves. God did still have an answer for us. Little did we know, it would still be a very long journey. Things went on until October of 2006 when we realized that we were simply not going to be able to afford adoption at all, and had no interest in trying to pass a home study. Once again we were devastated and began to question God. See, we figured that because God had given us a sign and because we felt such peace about adoption, that it would just have been easy and happened already. Apparently, we were still not on the same page as God.

Then in December of 2006, it was going to happen. A friend had a friend who wanted to place her baby for adoption. We only had to get the legal paperwork together for a private adoption. No home study, no agency. We were so excited. Well, four months into it, the birth-mom changed her mind, she did not want to give up her baby for adoption. Well you can guess what happened: sadness and frustration set in again. We continuously questioned God: “Why Lord?” “When Lord?” “How Lord?”

So from there it was just a waiting game, we weren't pursuing anything on the adoption front, we weren't pursuing anything on the medical front, we were just waiting and praying and living our life as a family of two. As time went on many friends and family members announced they were expecting, and we put on our happy face and celebrated with them, while yearning for our day of celebration.

That waiting period would take us to December of 2007, when we began to think back and re-discuss the idea of Embryo Adoption. It would take us back almost full circle to our IUI's when my dad first told us about the new concept for infertile couples wishing to experience pregnancy. We really began to research the idea and found many promising outlets, the main one being a web site titled “Miracles Waiting.” Miracles Waiting facilitates the match between a donor couple and recipient couple, leaving the leg work of legalities and home studies up to them. It was finally looking up and we really felt, even more then before, that we were heading in God's chosen path. Our first two possible matches did not pan out, but I knew there was still one other possibility, although it took a while to hear from them!

After Several emails, phone calls, and other communications, we were chosen to receive four embryos on February 28, 2008! We could not believe how far we had come and how close we were to finally becoming parents! Two months after joining Miracles waiting, we had our match. We still had a lot to do such as draw up a contract, arrange for shipment of the embryos, and start treatments at our clinic. This took quite awhile to facilitate as our donors live in Alabama and we had a lot to work out through email! In March of 2008 we began working through a contract, which seems pretty solid! We both had it notarized and it was another step in the right direction.

We began working with our clinic and I was told I had to get my BMI under 40.0, which I was able to do by the end of April 2008. All of my pre-transfer tests had gone well, and all was ready to go we just needed to get those embryos shipped! After several paper work mishaps, and games of phone and communication tag our embryos arrived safely at our clinic on Thursday August 7, 2008!!! The shipping cost us $380.00 and my mom stepped in and paid that for us! So we were that close, finally, to becoming parents!!!! So here is the protocol I went by: (It is kinda choppy cause I had to revisit my posts on Stepping Stones cause I didn't write stuff down!!! I recommend keeping a journal!)

August 22, 2008: Started Provera
September 23, 2008: Started Lupron
October 8, 2008: Mock Transfer: went perfectly!!!
October 23, 2008: U/S to check lining
October 25, 2008: Began PIO injections
October 30, 2008: Two embryos transferred!!!!
November 8, 2008: First light POSITIVE hpt.
November 13, 2008: Positive BETA: 247.7
November 20, 2008: U/S found one little bean.

What an emotional roller coaster to get to the point where after now 7 years of trying, I was finally pregnant!!!! We had several scares along the way. One was a trip to the ER on November 29, 2008 with bright red bleeding. I was so scared, but they found a very strong heart beat, and all was well. On December 16, 2008, it was worse, I had cramps and clots. I was VERY scared. This time it was during the day so I was able to go to my clinic. Once again, a very strong heart beat, and no explanation for the bleeding. Thankfully, this was the last time it happened! On Wednesday, February 25, 2009 we found out we were having a boy! What a joy to know and prepare for him! I still look back and am AMAZED at the journey we went through. God DOES have a plan and it IS NOT in our time, it never will be or we wouldn't have to put our complete faith and love in HIM as He requires us to do. God is good, all the time, All the time GOD IS GOOD.

6 comments:

免費成人色情卡通漫畫 said...

IS VERY GOOD
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Christa said...

I've been looking into embryo adoption and came across Miracles Waiting. I'm glad to know that someone had a good experience with them. We also researched a company in Tennessee and the prices seem to the same but their wait time is about 10-12 months for a match. By the way, did you get to keep the other two embryos for future siblings?

Michelle said...

We had joined MW in April of 2007 and we weren't matched until February of 2008, so that was about 10 months. (We were talking with three other donors before being selected!) Some wait much less and others have waited longer. We did get to keep the remaining two embryos! We plan on using them in October of 2011 for sibling(s) for Cameron!

rebecca said...

Saw your comment on babycenter...I'm so excited to have found you & your blog!!! My husband & I were just matched through MW as well and are planning our first transfer for December. It's so wonderful to hear your story, thank you for sharing:)

林俊娟 said...

IS VERY GOOD..............................

Morningsun said...

Wow,what at journey, but so worth it!