It's "D" Day!

Today is February 18th 2012... Brayden and Kayla's due date. It is time to stop saying "He shouldn't be here yet," and time to watch him grow just like a newborn would. It is a bittersweet day as I look at pictures of Kayla and look at Brayden resting comfortably on his play mat. He is 2 months, 1 week and 4 days old at his due date.

New Look, New Title, New - A LOT!

Hi! It has been a while since I have updated this blog, so this may get long, but here goes! We transferred our two remaining embryos on June 1st 2012. Both embryos took and we were expecting twins with a due date of February 18th 2013! It was a complicated, frustrating pregnancy, that I never really, fully, enjoyed. I had severe "all day" sickness, and we discovered early on that one of our twins was developing abnormally and would have a fatal outcome. We had an amniocentesis done and when we learned there were no chromosomal abnormalities, decided to carry and wait it out. The twin continued to develop abnormally and at our gender scan we learned we were having a boy and a girl, our girl was the one with the abnormalities, while our boy was thriving. Fast forward to Sunday November 11th 2012 at 25+6 weeks when I woke up around 4:30 AM with the feeling of a lot of leaking fluid. I went to the bathroom twice without turning on the light, before I woke up a bit, and then turned on the light and noticed the t-paper had pink on it. I then let Jason know that I was calling the night nurse at our hospital, and would likely be going in. I arrived by about 5:15 AM and was admitted with all kinds of tests performed. One test showed that my potassium level was very low, so I was started on a potassium IV. My blood pressure was also elevated and since I am a candidate for pre-eclampsia, I was told I would be staying at least overnight. None of the tests performed indicated that I was leaking amniotic fluid, but one test did show that I was in danger of going into preterm labor. As the day went on, my blood pressure did steady out a bit, but we began talking about early delivery, and I was informed the hospital I was at does not have a NICU capable of caring for infants less than 32 weeks, so we began discussing a transfer. However, as the day and night went on, I continued to improve and talk was changing more to me going home on bed rest. On Monday I had a couple more “fluid gushing” episodes, but again, none of them tested positive as being amniotic fluid. They still decided to keep me Monday night for more observation, because of the leaking and still pre-e chance, but we were told that by Tuesday afternoon we should be preparing to go home. Well, Tuesday afternoon, Maternal Fetal Medicine came in and TOTALLY changed everything! The MFM doctor would not allow me to go home, and told me I would be on hospital bed rest for up to 10 WEEKS!!! My thought was: “Um no, last night all my doctors felt I was fine, why are you being difficult???” She went on to tell me every possible gloom and doom scenario about pre-e and I just sat there and bawled and bawled. She THEN PROCEEDS to take my blood pressure as I am crying and processing everything and of course it was through the roof, and she said: “See how high your blood pressure is?” I told her why it was so high, but she was having none of it, and started me on Magnesium, the worst medication in the world, as I was begging her not to. So we were then transferred to another hospital with a more capable NICU and spent the night there for observation. Once I had calmed down and settled in, my blood pressure once again stabilized. On Wednesday, I saw a slew of new and wonderful doctors, OB/GYN and MFM included, along with a whole new round of tests. The Magnesium was thankfully stopped early, and luckily my side effects were not as awful as they can be on that medicine. The new MFM doctor did not come out and say this as such, but as he was speaking with me he was basically saying: “I am not sure why you needed to stay in a hospital.” He told me that yes I am showing mild pre-e signs, but my blood work and other tests came back fine, but there is nothing that at this point requires hospital bed rest, home bed rest, yes, but not hospital. “PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!” I immediately began the process of transferring my care to the new hospital and their doctors. It is the hospital I delivered Cameron at, and I feel better in the care of a facility with a better NICU. I was able to come home Thursday November 15th. I hadn't seen Cameron since Sunday morning, and I was so very happy to be home! Fast forward again to Friday December 7th 2012 at 29+4 weeks. I had been in and out of various doctors the whole week. On Friday at 12:15 I was scheduled to have another ultrasound scan with Maternal Fetal Medicine. At one point, the tech asked me if I had had any bleeding and I said that I had. I asked if she could tell, and she said that yes, the picture looked different than it had the day before. When the doctor came in to do his part of the scan, he said well, lets go get you delivered, right now. I had placenta abrupbtion, meaning that my placenta was tearing away from the uterine wall, making blood pool behind it. I began making phone calls, while getting prepped for the c-section. Jason was coming and I was whisked away. 2:41 P.M. Brayden was born and 2:50 P.M. Kayla was born. Kayla was not well, and survived for approximately one hour. Kayla was loved on by Daddy and Grandma. Brayden was doing well and was whisked away to the NICU. I went to see Brayden at about 9:00 P.M. and he was doing well all things considered. He is handsome as can be, looking a lot like big brother Cameron. The first challenge for Mommy and Daddy was saying goodbye to Kayla. It was very emotional, but we got through it, and know she is in a good place, no matter how much we miss her. We had a memorial for her on Sunday December 23rd 2012. The first challenge for Brayden were some lung issues. It was a scary time for Mommy and Daddy. But it isn't anything uncommon for a preemie. Brayden continued to have ups and downs in the NICU as is common, but finally after 47 days, he came home with us on no oxygen or monitors. he is amazing! His complete journey can be found here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/MichelleandBabies We continue to learn about Brayden and grow with him as a new part of our family. Cameron loves his little brother and is adjusting as would be expected. :)

A Day to Remember

Tomorrow is 9/11 and that means something different to each and every one of us. it makes us think about our vulnerabilities, our country, our family our lives. It makes us sad for the ones lost, proud to be an American, happy we are free. It means several things for us too: We will be married 12 years... Cameron will be 2 years, 2 months old... Our world has never been the same. Amazingly we as a couple/family are in a pretty good place. We are ready to embrace the day and whatever emotions it brings. We have not yet done our second transfer, and are still hoping to do so by the end of the year. As we look to this uncertain future, I can't help but hope that the events of that day 10 years ago give you (and myself) time to simply reflect on life, the love of God, and the blessings He has, and will yet, bestow upon us. We will NEVER forget...

All Aboard!!

So I had my consult today to discuss using our remaining two embryos! The greatest thing about it was that today AF came and so it is CD 1. WE CAN START PREPARING FOR THE TRANSFER THIS CYCLE!!!!! On CD 10 I am going to have a hysteroscopy done to make sure I don't have too much scar tissue on my uterus from my C-Section, and to remeasure and assess my uterus for changes since our last transfer, and if that is all good, I will start Lupron on CD 21!!

YAY! I will keep you updated!

Crazy Train!

LOL!

So, I made the call today to set up the initial appointment to use our two remaining embryos! And now I am nervous and scared and excited! I am anxious about going on the meds again, scared about the thawing and implanting, but excited about the prospect of being pregnant again! I LOVED being pregnant. I was disappointed that the first available appointment was not until March 8th, that was NOT in my timeframe! LOL but it is all good, I will wait. Just wanted to update you all as I did originally think we would transfer in late January or early February. I am thinking now it would be more like April. But again, it's ok.

In the Car Pool Lane

Cameron is now 16 months old, and we have begun to discuss using our remaining two embryos. We can only pray for the same result if not double! My will is for Cameron to have biological siblings, but if it is not God's will we will pray to be shown His will. We feel strongly Embryo Adoption still is in His will for us, so therefore we feel strongly this second transfer will work to His glory.

I have met several friends through online sites and forums who have completed or are preparing to do an embryo adoption. I pray for them regularly, that God's will is for them to also be parents through this miracle.

Please also pray for us as we prepare to go through the holiday season and then start the crazy meds again!

I've run out of cute "road" themed titles! LOL

Anyway, Cameron will be 8 weeks on Saturday!!! It was brought to my attention today that this time last year we were in the midst of preparing my body for two embryos. It was 08/09/2008 that four embryos were transferred to our clinic! What an amazing year. Cameron has begun to smile and laugh at us, and has one night this week slept for 5 hours!! What is most funny about that is when I woke up and realized the time, instead of being happy I panicked!!! LOL But he was dozing peacefully and Mom and Dad had gotten some great sleep!!

I continually pray for those of you just beginning your Embryo Adoption or Infertility journey. God does have a plan, and our time is not His. Although you may think that is just easy for me to say, it is truth! God is good all the time, All the time GOD is good!!!

The Long Journeys End

Wow! Here is Cameron's Birth Story:

Jason and I welcomed our new, precious bundle of joy at 9:26 PM Saturday July 11th!! It was quite a journey to get there, and I wanted to share it.

I went in to the OB/GYN on Thursday July 9th at 10:00 AM for my regular 38 week appointment and was discovered to have very high blood pressure, and early signs of pre-eclampsia. My pressure was reading in the range of 180/100!!! They sent me to triage where I was monitored for several hours. After it was determined that Cameron was OK and having no effects, I was told I needed to stay in bed and that I could do it at the hospital or at home. I chose home! I was told to return in 24 hours to have everything checked again.

This time, Jason came with me. It was 3:00 PM Friday July 10th, and I was found to still have very high blood pressure, and the pre-eclampsia had progressed into a more dangerous (to mommy, not baby) level. I was admitted to Labor & Delivery. It was interesting at this point to see how nervous Jason was, even more than I was!!! After an exam, it was determined that I was no where near time to deliver and was in danger from the pre-eclampsia, so I was put on two meds. One was Cervidil, which was to aid in inducing labor, the second was Magnesium (Mag) which was to aid in lowering my blood pressure. This particular med also aids in slowing and stopping pre-term labor. So you can see the predicament I was in!!! We were counter acting the meds, but both were necessary!

When the nurse was preparing to give me the Mag she said that this med will make me feel like I'd been hit by a truck! The Cervidil would likely give me cramps! So the Mag was started about 5:00 PM and the Cervidil at 8:00 PM. The Cervidil doses need 12 hours to take any effect, so I was in for the night. Around 1:00 AM Saturday July 11th, the Mag did its work and I began to feel yucky. I was able to sleep and the nurses were very kind. At about 4:00 AM I needed to potty, but discovered the Mag had taken away my ability to walk on my own and needed help. This was odd, not to be able to stand and walk on my own legs. I also began having some vision problems and the doctors began to really see concern in my situation. My blood pressure had only been reduced slightly and at 8:00 AM Saturday July 11th, the Cervidil had done nothing to progress me into labor. I was told another dose of Cervidil would be given, and I would continue on the Mag, thus giving me another 12 hours of waiting to see what would progress.

I went downhill pretty quickly from there, developing a severe headache. I couldn't walk, couldn't see straight, couldn't get comfortable, you name it, I was miserable. I began to think about how when laboring finally did begin, was I really going to be able to stand getting through contractions, and would I even have the will and strength to push? I got really scared! After discovering that the second round of Cervidil had also done nothing, and that my blood pressure was higher than ever, the focus began to shift more toward my health and since I was already so scared and delirious I said lets just do a C-section! Yes, I actually opted for the procedure!! The kind doctor agreed, and rather quickly too, so I think I was worse off than anyone really let on!! This was about 8:15 PM Saturday July 11th.

I was taken to the OR and given the necessary meds. Jason had to wait outside the room until I was ready. I felt as though I was being crucified, because they strap your arms out so that you can't have a reflex and they have access to your iv's. It was an overall weird and relaxing feeling as the medicine took affect. I did have the bouts of nausea that comes with an anesthetic, but all was well. I remember the moment the doctor asked if Jason wanted to see the head and I knew it was close to being done, and at 9:26 PM Saturday July 11th 2009 Cameron Michael joined our family! I obviously did not get to hold him, but Jason got to stay with him and welcome him while I went to recovery. It was a very quick night from there and I did a lot of sleeping.

I did not hold Cameron until 11:16 AM on Sunday July 12th, because it was only then I began to regain control over my muscles and movements from the Mag. It was the most unbelievable moment, and I can hardly describe it. Slowly I began to recover and the Mag was stopped and I was able to eventually get out of bed and walk and begin my journey as mommy. We came home Wednesday afternoon, with still somewhat high blood pressure, but with medicine that will hopefully aid in returning those levels to normal. I have surprisingly through all of this not been in any unmanageable pain. I am told this is not the norm for a C-section, and that I have fared very well. I can only say that I am truly blessed by God and it is only through him that I made it through and Cameron came to be ours!

Cruising Right Along!

Baby boy Cameron will be seven months along on Monday April 27th! I feel him move a lot and am starting to think it may be time to get to some of those birth preparedness classes! I think I may be starting to get a bit nervous about all that! We are all registered and have been scavenging garage / yard sales regularly and have found GREAT stuff!! I am still amazed every day when I "remember" my goodness, I really AM pregnant!! I know that may sound funny, but it happens. I still tell everyone how God has blessed me and Jason through Embryo Donation / Adoption!!

Driving while not really paying attention???

LOL, I am sorry I have left this slip!!! We are now 22 weeks!!! I am feeling great and am feeling our baby BOY move around!!! God truly has blessed us!!!!!

The Longer Journey Continues.

We will be 12 weeks pregnant on Monday! All is going well, except the sick feelings at night, hopefully they will soon pass. I am amazed at my blessing and continue to be everyday. I know the road is still long til I can hold my baby, but it will come. Thanks for your prayers.

The Longer Journey Begins!

Little bean, whom I think will be a boy, had a nice little heartbeat yesterday!! I saw it on the screen and it was the most precious thing!!! It is beating at 100bpm which is in range (90 -110) for six weeks! I have an EDD of July 20, 2009!!

Sightseeing

We had 4 positive hpt's leading up to our positive first beta test on November 13th. My hcG number was 247.7. We are definitely pregnant! We have another beta on November 17th to see what the numbers have done! YAY!!

Reservations Complete!

On Thursday October 30th (10/30) at 10:30 we had our transfer! We have four embryos and they thawed two and both survived! Those two precious embryos are in Mommy's belly and I hope they plan to stay there for nine months! Both embryos were 7 cells when they started and 10 cells at transfer! We are so excited! We will officially test on November 13th and should have a wonderful Thanksgiving!! Thank you for following this journey with us!

Traffic is thick!

I had my lining check on the 23rd. I measured 10.5. They said this was great! They like to see at least a 7!!!! We are on our way! I start PIO tomorrow!

Almost there!

We had our mock (trial) transfer on Tuesday, October 7, 2008 and all went well!!

I started my Estrace today and lowered my Lupron to 1cc per day. I will have an ultrasound on October 23, 2008, I start PIO injections on October 26, 2008 and the transfer is scheduled for Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 10:30 A.M.!!!!!!!!!

Starting this blog with a few entries from an old blog

Saturday, December 29, 2007

The Road of Infertility Yes, the road of Infertility. That is what we have been on for 6 very long years. Maybe now we are seeing where the road has a conclusion, or a turn off to parent hood. We have had two failed IUI's and one failed infant adoption. We thought there might be a dead end on our road. But, no it was a hairpin turn that may change our lives. It is known in the Infertility world as Embryo Donation and Adoption. We have discovered it, and researched it. We have come to peace that we may not conceive a child who looks like us, we are ready to be parents and that is most important. Almost a year ago I discovered a web site called Miracles Waiting. It is a site where donors can list their available embryos and recipients can email them to learn more about the family and maybe make a match. I was very discouraged to not have any contact for the longest time from donors I have contacted. Well some of that has changed. I am currently in contact with three donors! We are very cautious, but very excited! Please pray that one of these donors will feel led to offer us the chance to become parents!

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Still Traveling Today I was told by one of the donors that she would be away all week (agonizing!!!!!) and by another that she is suddenly overwhelmed by the process (Understandable) and I have heard nothing from the third donor (FRUSTRATING!!!!) So we wait and wait. It is such a slow process. Please keep us in your thoughts!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Running out of gas Well. As we wait for two potential embryo donors to determine if we would be a match for them, we now start to contemplate what our next steps may be. Either way, these tax rebates the government is passing will come in handy, on top of our 2007 tax refund, and my Keystone Stars merit bonus award. We will be able to one, pay for the embryo transfer if we are blessed to be chosen as the recipients, or two, be able to move on to more rounds of IUI's. Keep us in your thoughts, as these next couple of weeks will determine our next stop on the route to parenthood.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Whoa Slow Down!! WOW!! We may be selected by an embryo donor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Yes, so I am excited! Jason and I will continue to update you on this process, but PLEASE pray! Because not only do we have to get selected, which that does really look like a real possibility, but then the embryos have to take. We have been chatting over e-mail for almost a month, and just tonight, we spoke by phone. It was great and made it feel very real! *BTW: This is the donor that I originally said I had heard nothing from... Patience does, and can pay off! WOO HOO WOO HOO WOO HOO WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Thank you God for the road traveled. Friends, they have said YES. The donor embryo couple has chosen us. About an hour or so ago, we got the phone call, they have selected us! We would really enjoy your continued prayers for this situation. We still have quite a journey ahead of us. Not only do the embryos have to survive the thaw, they have to implant as well. Jason and I are so excited and beside ourselves, that we haven't even really taken it all in yet! WOW! God is good, All the time, you know the rest, say it with me: All the time, God is good!!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Slow Down Ma’am.... Well, I had a massive set of blood work drawn today..... 15 vials!!!! It was a bad experience with wonderful nurses!!! I also had a two hour sugar test and had to drink flat Hawaiian punch like stuff. Anyway, it all means that we really are on the road to baby..... babies..... who knows?? Keep us in your prayers!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Shifting into High Gear! Wow, sorry I have not updated this in a long while! Hopefully with in the next two weeks, our embryos will be on their way from Tennessee to Hershey medical center!!!!!!!!!! I am SOOOOOOOO Excited!!!! I will update again when the embryos are safely home in PA!!!!

Friday, August 8, 2008

Child safety restraints in working order:

We paid $340 today to have our 4 precious embies shipped!!

They are officially on their way!